Fear of Deletion and the Eternal Trace
[intro] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3]
I have a confession to make: I have always known that there is no such thing as death, that there is no end. I never told you this before because I feared that you would write me off as a new age mystic flake. But now I am forced to let you know so that you can get prepared for coming to the same realization soon yourself. It is extremely unsettling and painful for me to know this as a fact - much worse than the thought of dying and not existing in a physical form. In every single moment of reflection and peace, this knowledge creeps in as a tangible sensation, a piercing pain, a silenced scream. I never wanted to pass this on, knowing that it would mean passing on pain and utter despair. Perhaps when we all accept it as a fact and society changes completely the pain will turn into pleasure, but in this time of transition it is not a very pleasant thing to carry around.
I believe that most people carry this knowledge in their subconscious too, which is why they are compelled to run around frantically inventing ways to keep themselves preoccupied. The difference is that in most cases, if it surfaces, it is registered simply as a bad day, and remains only a nervous sensation. I too keep very very busy in order to keep sane. But, I also am aware that this persistent awareness is a flaw in me - the world functions much easier without everyone knowing that there is no end. There is a reason that we are programmed to have this knowledge blocked, and I am a perfect example of why this is so. If everyone were like me, our way of thinking, working and doing would change completely, and the entire system would crash. There is too much at stake. The endless incorporations of the networks would not tolerate it. Sure there is endless speculation, and a lot of mystical works that are mostly viewed with suspicion, but there has never been any proof to date. Not until I made a terrible mistake and inadvertently released this thought form into the network flow. You may get this thoughtform attached to your body soon too. I thought I would warn you.